i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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