drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
