I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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