i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
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