last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
