Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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