I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
He? As in you personified your dick?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
