considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize