you would pick up someone in the library
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
