Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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