Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
