Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
