if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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