I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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