Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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