I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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