She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
