if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
