Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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