And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize