Sry I called you an 8
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
