wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
