you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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