Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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