I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize