babies were throwing up all over the place
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Randomize
