i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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