we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
