I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I think a kid would responsible me up
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
