Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Randomize
