stop calling my apartment porn island.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
There's always time for handjobs
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
