you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
