Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
