we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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