help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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