I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
