drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
