Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
and you fell through a lawn chair
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
