worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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