she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
