you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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