honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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