Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Do vagina's smell?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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