So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
