Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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