well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
