It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
