So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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