Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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