My sheets look like a crime scene.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
