Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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