You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
