I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
