will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
it's like iHOP with fire
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
