sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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