New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
