I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Randomize
