Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Welp...herpes.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
