I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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