He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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