my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
