So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
