how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
